 The MAJOR Discovery of Governmentium 312
Governmentium 312
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been
tentatively named Governmentium. Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant
neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it
an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces
called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like
particles called peons. Since governmentium has no electrons, it is
inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which
it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction
to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a
second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not
decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of
the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time since
Each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons,
forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some
scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach
a
certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred
to as Critical Morass. | 
Uneducated ditch digger!
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