Personal Ads

[Stanley]

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
>
40-ish.............................49
>
Adventurous................Slept with everyone
>
Athletic..........................No breasts
>
Average looking..........Moooo
>
Beautiful........................Pathological liar
>
Emotionally Secure.....On medication
>
Feminist.......................Fat
>
Free spirit...................Junkie
>
Friendship first...........Former slut
>
New-Age....................Body hair in the wrong places
>
Old-fashioned............No BJs
>
Open-minded............Desperate
>
Outgoing...................Loud and Embarrassing
>
Professional..............Bitch
>
Voluptuous...............Very Fat
>
Large frame..............Hugely Fat
>
Wants Soulmate.......Stalker
>
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>

>
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
>
1. Yes = No
>
2. No = Yes
>
3. Maybe = No
>
4. We need = I want
>
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
>
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
>
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
>
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
>
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron
>
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
>
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>

>
MEN'S ENGLISH:
>
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
>
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
>
3. I am tired = I am tired
>
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
>
5. I love you = Let's have sex now!
>
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
>
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you!
>
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you!
>
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you!
>
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you!
>
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
>

[Mots]

funny shit.........................but very true